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29 August, 2008
Literally
Today I discovered that "sick with worry" is not just a figure of speech.
21:09 / 1 comment(s)

23 August, 2008
New Experiences
One week on and the workload seems... okay. I mean, I still feel a little stressed out with all the readings that I haven't caught up on, but it's not all that bad.

Today has been an interesting day so far, in that I did things that I normally wouldn't have done. Like going to Orchard at 8am, for instance. Caught the 7am 502 bus, which I thought I would be late for but wasn't. It started raining really heavily at around 7.20am when the bus was in Jurong East area, and it persisted all the way to Orchard. Got off at the Lucky Plaza stop, but on hindsight 502 probably stops at Heeren as well and I should have got off there instead cos I wanted to go to Cineleisure. =.= So I walked through the underpass up to Taka and it was really kinda eerie. I mean, Orchard Road should never be this quiet.

So what was I doing at Orchard Road so early on a Saturday morning? A result of group members' strange schedules. We were supposed to meet yesterday afternoon in school but it turned out only Xinyi and I could make it. So yeah. D: That left today because the assignment is due on Monday.

After that went for the 10am Spectrum TV meeting at *scape, which was interesting because I've never been into the building before. I always thought it was just kinda there, never thought I'd actually go in. Turns out to be a pretty nice place, just don't go to the first floor toilet because it smells weird. Anyway I'm kinda glad I made the decision to join something new and meet new people, do things I wouldn't normally have done. It makes me feel happy to think I'm not wasting my time away in school. At least I'm out there being a part of something. I'm done with isolating myself, hoping things would miraculously turn out better, because it won't, not on its own. I have to take action, be brave, take a stab in the dark and throw myself off the precipice of caution.

I'm blogging this from Coffee Bean @ Taka right now. Wanted to get some work done, but I really am in no mood to do any studying. Besides, I didn't bring any of my notes/textbooks. Which is an excuse for me to catch up on my J-dramas. MWAHAHA! What an extravagant waste of laptop battery. >.< I'm just waiting for about 12.30pm anyway, which is coming in a few minutes so I guess it's not that much of a waste, haha. Going to Yi Han's house to play mahjong later. Actually I feel kinda guilty cos I should be at home studying or something (yeah I'm a nerd), but I haven't played mahjong in aeons so I guess it's okay? LOL.
11:56 / 1 comment(s)

16 August, 2008
Tired Already
I can't figure out what's causing my rashes. Probably stress, but that sounds like an easy way out. I'm sure something more concrete is triggering it. Most of the rashes are on my arms, which suggests that it's probably something I'm touching that's causing it. But what?

Regardless, I am feeling stressed. I've got so many things to do that I've only just sat down properly in front of the computer today to do the things that need to be done (i.e. assignments). I'm physically and mentally tired. And I've just signed myself up for things that I don't know if I can handle, threw myself into the deep end and into situations that I don't feel comfortable in. But I've had it with being passive; I needed to do something with my sorry self and this was it. I just hope I don't screw up too badly.

I just want to curl up in bed and never wake up.
21:52 / 0 comment(s)

12 August, 2008
Need Legit Music
It's been almost a week but my rashes haven't gotten better. In fact they took a turn for the worse last night. Now I have new patches of rashes on my left elbow and thighs. And my thumb. Argh they're really really really itchy. I'm going to see my doc again after class tomorrow. He's probably going to give me a jab. :S Yikes.

I kind of wasted my weekend actually. I think this is the most I've slept in ages. I spent Sunday napping at the hospital, and when I reached home I wasn't in the mood to do anything so I went to bed at 10pm. Woke up at 9am the next day, then mooched around until about 1.30pm when I napped (again) till about 4pm. Yeah. It feels great though. I was kinda afraid I'd get a headache from sleeping so much but I feel refreshed instead. I know I can't sleep too late today because I have an 8.30am lecture tomorrow. Yay Psych!

I've been looking for avenues to purchase online music. I guess I have to put in a little more effort on my part. There are two albums I want to buy right now. The first is Aqua Timez's 七色の落書き (Nanashoku no Rokugaki) and the other is Electrico's We Satellites. I want to do digital downloads because I don't want to pay shipping fees, and I want the songs now. I don't want to wait 12 weeks for the bloody shipment to arrive.

I know cdjapan sells Japanese music, but they're selling physical CDs, not digital music. I know music.naver.com sells online music, and they have one Aqua Timez album on there, but I'm not proficient in Korean enough to actually buy anything from there. And I have a nagging suspicion you have to be Korean to buy.

As for Electrico's We Satellites, okay, they're local, so I tried Soundbuzz, but they only have their 2006 album. So no go there.

iTunes failed me on both counts.

Fine. I wasn't expecting much. I can easily get the Aqua Timez discography off jpopsuki. Electrico poses a harder challenge. It seems there's a torrent for their 2004 album floating around. It is however unseeded and I don't think it will be anytime soon.

I know I can get Electrico from HMV, but good lord their prices are just !@#$. Need to poke around for Aqua Timez though, but I won't get my hopes up.
00:02 / 0 comment(s)

07 August, 2008
No Olympics For Me
Went to see the doctor about those rashes and he said it looks like an allergic reaction to something. I think it's most slightly a reaction to the plants in the garden, who's water responsibilities I took up shortly before the rashes started appearing. Bleh. I still have to water them, allergic or not.

The doc prescribed me Prednisolone (that's a steroid, for the rest of you), although in really small dosages (5mg I think?) to bring down the swelling. He also got me some cream and some medicine for the allergy.

For some reason, I think it's kinda cool. ZOMG I HAVE AN ALLERGY!!! I AM ON STEROIDS!!! Guess I can't join the Olympics now.

Anyway have attended 3 days of school so far and I'm finding myself actually enjoying it. GASP. I worry a little about the load, since I'm taking 6 modules, but so far it's been okay. (Yeah okay I should stop deluding myself because tutorials haven't started yet and there were 2 less modules this week.) Anyway there's Add/Drop week, right?


I was bored so I took a photo of my work area. It is infinitely more messy than my previous one, eh? Well I kind of moved downstairs from my room to the dining room, so that I could take advantage of my wireless. Can't receive signals in my room, grr. The table's big and nice, but it's not as comfortable.

So um, clockwise from bottom left:

My Psychology textbook. I've been wanting to take this module since Year 1 Sem 1 but it always clashed with my core exam dates (cos it's a core itself for the Psych majors). I'm really glad to be studying this! It's very very interesting. A lot of reading to be done though, so that's why I'm trying to cram as much as possible now when I still have free time. I don't want to think about how I'm going to cope once all the projects start falling into my lap.

My laptop, covered by my school file. I had to temporarily power off my laptop for a while when studying because it was very very distracting. D: If you look hard enough you can kind of see my external speakers. My laptop's in-built speakers = fail. To the right of my laptop is my mouse on my cardboard mouspad! I don't believe in commercial mousepads. =/

My cup and cordless phone. Look at my hugeass cordless phone! It's like a throwback to the handphones 20 years ago. Well there's no phone nearby so I had to bring it downstairs. The reception's okay though. Not too much static. We really need to get a new cordless phone. Really.

Pile of textbooks and mail. I'm on the bottom right corner of the photo now. I've bought all my textbooks for this sem! Pretty proud of myself since I always procrastinate on that front and only attempt to get them after 2 weeks of school or something.

Oh and guess what? I've been a self-professed pirate all this while (arr, that's right ye bloomin' barnacles!), but I bought my first legitimate digital music album (technically an EP though) today! (PayPal makes online shopping frighteningly simple...)


I thought the band's name was serendipity in action. Making April, eh? Oddly apt for me! Discovered them through Last.fm and listened to some of their tracks on their MySpace, thought they were good, decided to spend ten bucks, and there we go! :D

Um and that's it for today I guess. I need to go sleep now because I have an 8.30am lecture tomorrow. Bleh. I have a 5-day week, and 4 out of those 5 days begin at 8.30am. What's a night owl to do??
23:38 / 0 comment(s)

05 August, 2008
A Good Sign?
Actually, school was much better than I thought it would be. Thank you my lucky stars, wherever you are. Hopefully this will be a good sign for the year ahead. I do have an exam on my birthday though. D:

LOL and I thought I would be really free this semester... I take that back right now. 長い休み時間が大嫌い!! I HATE LONG BREAKS!!

Alright. I need to go now 'cos I need to see the doctor. I have these rashes all over my arms that are really really itchy. >.<;
13:32 / 0 comment(s)

03 August, 2008
Another Tag
This has been the longest holiday. Ever. And I don't mean it only literally. Most of me is not looking forward to school starting again, but part of me is hoping this semester I'll meet some great people too.

Well I had a good day today, actually. I mean it wasn't stupendously fantastic or anything, but I get so many crappy days that it was beginning to become the norm. I mean stuff like I didn't need to wait very long for trains/buses, the lift arrives just when I reach the lobby, Kinokuniya 20%, easy Jap test (although I can kiss full marks goodbye)...

And I just had to say, the people in my mum's ward are really, really nice. Everyone's helpful and everyone looks out for each other. I've always regarded strangers at an arm's length, attributing their actions to selfishness or ulterior motives, but perhaps I've been too cynical, and the world is not such a bad place after all.

Alright. I'm becoming so optimistic it isn't "in character" for me. But certainly life does look a bit better when you're not in a deep funk and a foul mood 24/7. I'm so destructive and vindictive during those dark moments even I scare myself. I am aware it's not healthy, but I don't see any way out of it.

I'm actually here to do another of those "tagging" things. You know, where you answer a series of questions, then inflict them on more of your friends?

So here I go, if you're bored you can read it. Yay.

1. What are your reasons for having a LJ?
I do have one, but it redirects here. xD Well I'll just take this as a question about why I blog. The main reason is to keep 5TORM updated about what's going on in my life, although I know I usually don't write much and the most reliable way to get information is to just ask me out. I blog also to satisfy the narcissistic, exhibitionist side of me, rave about the music I listen to and the books I obsess over (I am still not over The Land Of Laughs, by the way, if my MSN nick is anything to go by). Oh, and also to try and sustain this thing for as long as possible. I mean dude, I have entries that date way back to 2001!

2. What do you do before bedtime?
Be online, but if I'm tired, I just wash up and go to sleep.

3. What will your dream wedding be like?
A small do, with close friends and family. Yeah, I'm really not asking for much. I hate big social events anyway.

4. What is the city of your dreams and why?
I'm not well travelled, so I can't name a city for you. Somewhere modern and efficient and convenient, yet quaint and charming at the same time, where everyone isn't going rushrushrush, where people nod to each other on the street and say hello to strangers.

5. Are you an introvert or extrovert?
More of an introvert, although it gets a little quiet 'round here. I crave alone time, but I think that's one wish I get fulfilled too often.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I think most people are going to say that to be loved is to be more blessed, because you're receiving something for nothing at all. But I would much rather be in the capacity to give than to receive. So I would say that to be able to love someone is to be more blessed. At least I know that my heart is still there.

7. Do you trust easily?
Too easily. T_T

8. What person, dead or alive, is your role model?
I don't actually look up to anyone. I am a self-centred person, that much I understand. Most of my thought processes revolve around myself, and so I only have people I'm jealous of, but none that I put on a pedestal. Jealous of their beauty, their confidence, their happiness, their innocence, their success.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
Too many.

10. When's the last time you had fun?
Oh, this is a question that came just in time. Yesterday, in fact, when I met up with my friends from a marketing module I took last semester. I really crave conversation with people who are on the same wavelength as I am. Which is why I'm not looking forward to starting school...

11. Is being tagged fun?
Well, it is interesting because it gives me something to blog about, and allows me to be a little introspective. I admit my answers aren't particularly entertaining, but they're more for me than for anyone else. And of course I'm always happy that someone actually thought of me enough to bother to tag me. Hehe. I mean I'm not an active blogger who goes around commenting on everyone's posts or whatever.

12. How do you see yourself?
I have terribly low self-esteem. But it's one thing to know that, and another thing to change the way you look at yourself. I know I shouldn't be so negative all the time. It just isn't healthy. But I just... can't think about myself any other way, you know? But it's true that I fail at everything I want to succeed at. I don't really mean on the academic front, because I have some kind of idiot's luck and manage not to screw myself up too seriously to deviate from the safest education path. But I fail at being a decent human being, fail at understanding people, fail at being a better daughter, fail at all the things that make life worth living.

13. Who are currently the most important people to you?
My mother. And 5TORM. Definitely couldn't have survived without you guys. You guys are my rock, and I know I can always go back to you when I feel like I'm about to get washed away into the sea.

14. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
Hmm SozoS... got to know you through the Dragonica forums, but I don't really know you that well, really. I think you're a guy who has a good head on your shoulders, and the right priorities in life. I dunno, that's the impression I get. xD Oh, and friendly too. I like how you don't take everything as seriously as I do. I get a little tired of myself sometimes because of that.

15. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Single and rich FTW. Money is everything, and I can buy whatever I want. At least I can die in a nice place when I'm old. I've already resigned to have a thirsty soul. With money I can at least try to slake that thirst with all the gadgets I could ever desire. Oh, and as for children, I could always adopt one.

16. How many children do you want to have, if any?
What a coincidence, this question leads on from my previous answer, LOL. Well, I was thinking 2. A boy and a girl. I'll never have just one child; it just gets too damned lonely.

17. What's better, to give or to receive?
Relient K - Give Until There's Nothing Left
'Cos how much is too much to give you?
Well I may never know
So I'll give till there's nothing else

18. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
Well, it depends on who the two people are, right? I'd pick the one who is in love with me back. If neither are, then I don't think I actually have a choice, LOL.

19. Would you like to live alone?
No. It's helluva boring and you have to do all the housework yourself. Sigh.

20. What are you waiting for right now?
For my Chii's Sweet Home handphone charms (set of 9) to arrive within the next week or two. :D:D:D

Tagged:
Any one of 5TORM. Haha. YW don't go stealing the questions again like last time, now I'm properly tagging all of you!
22:40 / 1 comment(s)