qian (altessa), girl, 20, bespectacled, sci-fi, bookworm, more? aprilesque is version 7, photoshop7, original art, get your own, more? 5TORM Kathy, Dawn, Yingwan, Weiqi 05S34 class blog, Hui Fang, Jason, Poh Wei, Rachel, Wei Jie, You Jin, Yvette, Zirui friends Wen Lin, Natalie, Elyse, SozoS, Sam archives When browsing through the archives, please keep in mind that they are pieces of who I was, not who I am. People grow, people change, and I am only human. go? lyrics Hotspur - Heads/Tails, Stars of Track and Field - End of All Time, Dashboard Confessional - Hell On The Throat

Ugh. I just wasted an hour of my time panicking when I should have been doing my work.

See, I was just poking around the foobar2000 website and saw that they had a new version. Wow! Fun! Let's upgrade! So I downloaded the new version and upgraded. Everything would have been fine and dandy if I didn't touch anything, but I had to go fiddle around with the Default User Interface (UI) and decide I didn't like it. Then I realised that all my keyboard shortcuts had been removed. ARGHNOOO, I can't live without my custom keyboard shortcuts! So, without uninstalling thenew version, I re-installed the old one, and that's where my problems started.

When I opened foobar, it was like clean install, all my configurations (and I'd done quite extensive configs) were gone! Okay, calm down, they can be reconfigured. So I went to fiddle with the configs, but when I tried to save, it kept on giving me strange errors like "Cannot write to playlist (Access Denied)" or "Retry or Cancel ( you will lose all your playlist information)" and a lot of other heart-stopping shit.

Did a system restore, but it didn't work. Same problem. So with an increasing heart rate, I tried to roll back to an even earlier date, but it didn't work either. And doing a system restore is not quick. The bloody thing takes like, 5-10 min each time, and at this point, every minute feels excruciating.

So I went to uninstall and reinstall, but that didn't work. Same problem. But I noticed something during the uninstall: it had removed 13 playlists... hmm... didn't I have 13 playlists in the first place? Wait, so my playlists were still on the computer somewhere! I thought I had lost them because I don't explicitly save them (since foobar seemed to have done it for me, I just didn't know where). Now I had the file path to those playlists, I went to the folder in Windows Explorer. Obviously there wasn't anything there right now. So I tried something I didn't think would work, but did: right-click on the folder and click on the "Previous Versions" tab. And lo-and-behold! There were previous versions from last week! I guess the last time I enabled the backup thing paid off. So I retrieved all my precious precious playlists.

I tried opening foobar again, but it still wouldn't show my playlists, and still gave me that stupid "access denied" error. Then I thought: if I could roll back the playlist folder, I can roll back the programme folder too, can't I? The problem lay with the programme files, not the registry, since I've already done a system restore. And that's what I did: AND IT WORKED. WOOHOO.

I will never, never touch my precious foobar again.

Lesson learned: If you're satisfied with your programmes, DON'T UPGRADE.

Went to the St Nick's funfair today with Meow. I usually never spend much at such events, but I bought quite a lot of stuff today. Like the very cute PEZ dispenser above. Bought a pair of earrings, two books Hannibal (been wanting to read that) and a Pokemon manga in Japanese. Haha. Saw the latter and I was like, HEY, I UNDERSTAND A BIT OF THE JAP, so I bought it. LOL. I need to take a few pictures with it and post it next time, just because it's colourful and all. And I won a... Nemofish soft toy at the fishing booth. Haha. What luck! So I have this huge orange thing on my lap right now as I type. It's actually pretty cute, which explains why lots of people were queuing to play it.

Met a few people at the funfair. I knew Wen Lin was going, and met Carolyn & Gang in the canteen. Saw Amanda as well, whom I've been bumping into rather often lately, considering that we live in the same estate and NEVER ran into each other during our schooling days. Saw some CS peeps, surprisingly. Dunno what they were doing there? Promoting 7-11? Haha. It was a hot hot day.

Mmm. Went home with a bit of a headache. Must've been the heat. And walked for quite a long while as well. I know, NTU campus is much much bigger, but for some reason, St Nick's campus is more tiring to traverse. It was nice seeing the school again, but it'll be torn down soon. They're going to rebuild it and I'm not all that happy. But change is inevitable and all that, you know. I miss my blue and white school building and blackboards.

Can we all say A-R-G-H? I am still feeling the pinch from the three days of doing nothing over the Good Friday weekend. Too much Nintendo DS emulation and movies. This has resulted in consistent 4-hour-sleep days for the past week. Well I skipped my disgusting lecture today so I could catch up on some.

Had some pretty bad dreams though. They tend to revolve around giving up archery and/or death. This time it was a dream about a friend (not anyone I know, though), who was going to die in two days. I remember one scene when we were walking together and some other friends were asking her how she felt about a certain event that was going to happen next week, and inside me everything was screaming: IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE SHE'LL BE GONE IN TWO DAYS AND ALL YOU CAN ASK HER IS THAT?

Another new music obsession: Secondhand Serenade. Mmmm.

I'm working simultaneously on so many things it isn't even funny. I even downloaded this virtual desktop thing so that I didn't need to see so many windows open at once. Haha. Now I can have one desktop per project I'm working on and not get annoyed when I try to alternate between different Powerpoint Presentations with the Alt+Tab and consistently switch to the the wrong one. It's pretty neat and didn't consume as much system resources as I thought it would.

Going for St. Nick's funfair tomorrow! I actually don't really want to go because of the crazy amount of work I have to get done, but it's not often that I go back. Besides, I've told Meow yes and no and yes again so many times I don't want to change my mind again. Haha. And of course, I'll be able to meet old friends and teachers. That's always good.

I'll aim to finish my 814 Powerpoint within the next hour, then go to sleep cos I need to get up early tomorrow. And tomorrow I'll have to begin doing my part of the marketing presentation, because I haven't. AND come up with the design and everything. I'm actually looking forward to my marketing presentation, even though the actual presentation ISN'T DONE at all. Heh. Bought my formal clothes on Thursday so I wouldn't look like a slob. I think my marketing group is one of the best groups I've been in so far. Everyone's very cooperative and the discussions are usually productive and funny. This will be the last time we'll be working together on something, I guess.

I'm not thinking coherently now, as you can see. My sentences just don't fit together anymore. Gah. But I will persevere. 3 more bloody slides to design and I can conk out.

In one day I tossed the life I wanted away as if it were nothing.

I didn't want to do it. I was fighting tears the whole day, and I found out the hard way how difficult it is to speak normally when all you want to do is break down right there and then. I guess I wanted my last shred of dignity.

But there is no other way of solving it that I know of. And so I sit here, bleeding inside at all that I've lost by my own hand.

And these are my last words to myself:

Is it a warning? Is it an evil sign?
Is it a people who have lost their mind?
Is it the Darkness? Is it a man resigned?
Is it a best friend leaving you behind?

Is it ever gonna stop? Will they ever let you go?
You're in a rush, they don't care enough 'cause their lives are very slow.
Time is ticking on. You don't get a second shot,
And when you sell your soul for a leading role, will The Lost Souls be forgot?

And if I can't hear the music and the audience is gone,
I'll dance here on my own.
And I hope the Lonely Hearts' Club Band will play out one last song,
Before the sun goes down.
- "I Can't Hear The Music", James Blunt

And I just wanted to say the title of this song is so apt, so apt, because even the music I used to seek comfort in is not easing the pain. It seems that even music isn't healing me; I might as well be deaf.

That said, I just can't wait for this semester to be over. In fact, I can't wait for everything to be over. Over. Over. Over.

I feel like I'm annoying everyone around me, so I'm so scared to talk to them, and this is bad because it isn't going to get anything done. So I'm sitting here, at the last third of my three hour break waiting to go for a class everyone skips, alternating between staring at my screen and people-watching. And listening to music from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Not the real one, but the one I ripped from the game CD. I'm so annoyed I can't play it because my laptop specs are shit.

It's finally stopped raining; the sky was a beautiful blue this morning. It isn't overly hot, but it's bright and sunny and not cold. I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow either.

Looking through my playlist, I realise I have lots of artists beginning with "The".

• The Ataris
• The Cardigans
• The Connells
• The Cranberries
• The Decemberists
• The Fray
• The Weakerthans

Hmm okay, that's seven. I guess that's nothing to go oh-wow over. I mean, "the" is a pretty common word, aye?

Anyway, random comments about each band since I'm not getting anything done (and I don't feel like getting done the other work that I can).

The Ataris: Heard The Boys of Summer on the radio and liked it. I know it's a cover, but who says covers are bad? And at first I was like, how are they connected to the gaming console? You know, Atari. They're album So Long, Astoria is okay, nothing particularly special, but an enjoyable listen nonetheless.

The Cardigans: I don't usually listen to bands with female vocalists. It doesn't mean I don't (there's Cherry Filter), but most of the bands I listen to have male vocalists. It's not particularly rock or punk, and I don't like all of their songs, but some of them are pretty darn good.

The Connells: I only have one song by them, 74-75, which was featured in the Korean drama Flowers for my Life. It's a nice song, I like the melody.

The Cranberries: I've only ever listened to one of their albums, so I cant say I don't like all of their music, but most of their music isn't what I usually listen to. I do like Zombies though, which is the only song of theirs I have. The lyrics are haunting.

The Decemberists: I discovered them through last.fm. I have their entire discography, I think, or most of it anyway. I started with The Crane Wife and thought their pirate ship shanties were refreshing. I moved on to Picaresque and fell in love with Eli the Barrow Boy, which I put on repeat for quite some time. It's such a sad, sad song. I didn't like the rest of the albums at first, but after leaving them aside for some time and getting back to them, I realised that their music was beginning to grow on me. I like their quirky titles and lyrics, like Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect and Odalisque (both from their album Cataways and Cutouts).

The Fray: Well, How To Save A Life is pretty good. I haven't listened to the rest of their songs though.

The Weakerthans: Discovered them from a brief review in LIME magazine and sampled their music on Myspace and thought they were pretty good. I've only just started listening to them so I can't really say much.

Okay, half hour to go before class. Sigh.

Holy shit, my Forecastfox addon tells me it's 22 degrees C outside. That's about the coldest I've seen it to be in Singapore. I don't know if I should believe it though, the Internet is really iffy.

But I like the cold weather. Mmm. I don't even mind the rain, really, even though I've been complaining about it. I just hope it doesn't rain on Saturday. Not in the morning, anyway.

The pleasure in pain lies in the knowledge that life is incomplete without it.

Random picture for today:


It's just a picture or my workspace. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE STUDYING 208. T_T Not blogging. But yeah.

Oh my 3.30-6.30pm lecture today got cancelled because my lecturer hurt her back. Ouch. But I'm happy because I got to go home early. :D

And guess what? I met Qihan in school today, by chance! Talked for a while, but he had a lecture to go to. Sigh, I miss all my old friends. :(

It seems I find my muse in procrastination.

Have been writing up blog posts lately when I should be writing up something else (like term papers, reports, etc.). Oh well.

Went shopping for sleeves today after Jap. Yeah, I call it sleeves, even though they're supposed to be called arm socks. Yes, arm socks. Sounds ridiculous, aye? But the label says so. It was not a very nice experience, because 1) I was alone, 2) it was raining. It's not like I didn't try to find people to hang out with me. But then again it wasn't like I tried too hard. *shrug* I don't mind shopping alone, it just gets a little weird when I start talking to myself. And I tend to spend more and buy more when I'm alone because I always convince myself that I deserve something. Other people always convince me otherwise.

Anyway after quite a lot of walking around, I finally bought what I set out to. I tried finding hats and track pants, but I didn't find anything I wanted, even after visiting all the sports shops in Taka. Hats are in really really short supply. I only found about three. One was $30 (way too overpriced), and the other two were ugly and expensive as well ($23 at Puma). Track pants were aimed toward people who go to the gym or do yoga, which translates into material that isn't very light. They assume you get to exercise in air-conditioned comfort, when that is not the case. Sigh. So much for being ready to spend, when you can't find anything to spend on.

Well, I did splurge $25 on a book at Kino. Damn. The little devil is called The Children's Hospital by Chris Adrian. I actually picked up Alastair Reynold's Pushing Ice, which I wanted to read anyway, but it wasn't in the edition I wanted, so I got The Children's Hospital instead. I hope it's good—it's a huge 600 page tome I will take my time to savour.

And so we reach the end of the week-long holiday, about two hours away from plunging into the daily grind of too-early mornings and late nights.

I've been putting songs on repeat, lately. First it was Rogue Waves' Eyes, then it was Breaking Benjamin's Who Wants to Live Forever, and now it's Kobukuro's ANSWER. I guess I get a little too obsessive sometimes.

Anyway, it seems that Kobukuro are my new Spitz. I've got their entire discography and they're beyond awesome. I seem to like the sound "of two soft voices blended in perfection" thing. Kings of Convenience, Simon & Garfunkel, and now Kobukuro.

Ugh, my Outlook keeps on telling me that I have new mail. Shut up already. I'm not done procrastinating yet. I'm going to reply to all my RP posts before doing any work. >:D

Sigh. Some projects really make me hate group work. I actually like working in a group as opposed to working alone, but it doesn't help when you have incompetent group mates. Okay, that's making me sound as if I'm putting myself on a pedestal. Fine, I am. And self-serving bias always makes me think that whatever I'm doing is right. So I try and rely on other people to take me down a notch and sometimes it works, because as a group we can come up with better, more varied ideas. But REALLY. A summary of the article by copying and pasting word-for-word DOES NOT a report make. Just looking at it wants to make me slit my wrists. T_T /enddrama

It's been so long since I've actually got an excellent group to work with. I hope that by the time I have to do my FYP, I would have. But I've got faith in most of the CS people. Although that faith is wavering a little, in light of one of the projects I'm working on. But it's still there, at least.

Maybe I'm destined for solitude?

In a semi-bad mood now, because I have to edit that stupid journal article critique that is exceeding by 5 pages. Also, I am hungry and I have a pimple which hurts. Plus I hate having to reassure other people that they'll be able to tackle their immense to-do list when I'm not sure about tackling mine either. Oh, and trying to appear all happy and cheerful on MSN is not doing anything great for my mood.

Anyway, it was raining this morning (I am SO procrastinating from editing that stupid journal article critique), so went late for training. So few people as usual, but more seniors than on the weekdays. They said they were going to the gym to train or something and I was like what?? But luckily by the time I reached it had stopped raining too heavily, so we went to shoot. Throughout the entire day it rained on and off. How annoying. And I forgot to bring my cap, so the rain kept getting on my glasses, but it was less irritating than I thought it would have been.

Shot blanks before lunch. Finally got my anchor and release right! Not getting my abrasion on my chin from anchoring either, so that's a good thing. Well, after 3 trainings of focusing on my release alone, it had BETTER improve.

Without my knowledge/agreement, they moved the boards back to 30m after lunch, so was forced to shoot that. Did quite well today, I think. At one point was getting 4/5 arrows in yellow. Getting really used to pulling 27 pounds! No problems anchoring most of the time, except for the few instances when I was too damn exhausted. Still massacred my arm, and my bruise looks bad. But I know what to do to stop, I just have to wait for the damn thing to heal.

Everyone was damn shagged today, haha. Even those who are way better than me were shooting either on par or slightly worse than I was, near the end of training. And the moment I reached home today I conked out and slept for 3 hours. I think. Maybe more. And now my arms are aching in all the wrong places.

Sigh, the week has gone by too fast. I didn't even realise that today is the first of March. MARCH. We're already in March. That's too fast. I wish I could bend time and space like Hiro. I'll stop time so that I can finish all my work, sleep to my heart's content, and train.

Thoughts of how people can be so stupid make me such an ugly person inside. :/

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