17 March, 2008
(0 ) 12:25 In one day I tossed the life I wanted away as if it were nothing.
I didn't want to do it. I was fighting tears the whole day, and I found out the hard way how difficult it is to speak normally when all you want to do is break down right there and then. I guess I wanted my last shred of dignity.
But there is no other way of solving it that I know of. And so I sit here, bleeding inside at all that I've lost by my own hand.
And these are my last words to myself:
That said, I just can't wait for this semester to be over. In fact, I can't wait for everything to be over. Over. Over. Over.
I didn't want to do it. I was fighting tears the whole day, and I found out the hard way how difficult it is to speak normally when all you want to do is break down right there and then. I guess I wanted my last shred of dignity.
But there is no other way of solving it that I know of. And so I sit here, bleeding inside at all that I've lost by my own hand.
And these are my last words to myself:
Is it a warning? Is it an evil sign?
Is it a people who have lost their mind?
Is it the Darkness? Is it a man resigned?
Is it a best friend leaving you behind?
Is it ever gonna stop? Will they ever let you go?
You're in a rush, they don't care enough 'cause their lives are very slow.
Time is ticking on. You don't get a second shot,
And when you sell your soul for a leading role, will The Lost Souls be forgot?
And if I can't hear the music and the audience is gone,
I'll dance here on my own.
And I hope the Lonely Hearts' Club Band will play out one last song,
Before the sun goes down.
- "I Can't Hear The Music", James Blunt
And I just wanted to say the title of this song is so apt, so apt, because even the music I used to seek comfort in is not easing the pain. It seems that even music isn't healing me; I might as well be deaf.
That said, I just can't wait for this semester to be over. In fact, I can't wait for everything to be over. Over. Over. Over.