qian (altessa), girl, 20, bespectacled, sci-fi, bookworm, more? aprilesque is version 7, photoshop7, original art, get your own, more? 5TORM Kathy, Dawn, Yingwan, Weiqi 05S34 class blog, Hui Fang, Jason, Poh Wei, Rachel, Wei Jie, You Jin, Yvette, Zirui friends Wen Lin, Natalie, Elyse, SozoS, Sam archives When browsing through the archives, please keep in mind that they are pieces of who I was, not who I am. People grow, people change, and I am only human. go? lyrics Hotspur - Heads/Tails, Stars of Track and Field - End of All Time, Dashboard Confessional - Hell On The Throat

... can't stand it when she blames me for every thing that goes wrong in her life.
... can't stand it when she says I'm useless.
... can't stand it when I say "I'm sorry" and sound like I don't mean it when I do.
... can't stand it that she's probably right.
... can't stand it that no matter how hard I think I'm trying, I probably should try harder.
... can't stand it.

(This was so so so heavily self-censored. Backspace is my friend. Add swear word of your choice at appropriate intervals to achieve intended effect.)

Been playing Tyrian again. Did it on and off over the last year or so, ever since I discovered that it's being offered as freeware and downloaded it, but I haven't seriously played it until the past few days.




It's such a nostalgic game. Tyrian was one of my favourite games back when I was a kid, and I played it over and over, even though back then I only had the shareware version with limited levels. I played it so much I could remember where and when every enemy would appear, breezing through the levels like it was nothing. I remember getting the carrot ship that shot bananas and thought that it was the coolest thing ever. Haha.

I can't seem to get them bananas again though.

Right now I'm listening to the music from Tyrian and if anything, that brings back the most memories. I spent a long trying to get it to play (I stayed up until 4am last night just getting the music, LOL). It isn't that difficult to get the files, but the problem was that I didn't want to download anything unnecessary onto my computer (i.e. Winamp) just to play the files. I use foobar2000 and it's the best music player ever made, but it can't play MIDI files without some fancy plug-in thing (i.e. doing some funny thing like getting a Winamp plug-in wrapper heading or whatever, and cannibalising the corresponding DLL or somesuch) which I couldn't pull off. So I downloaded the native file format (which are some obscure LDS files) which could be played with a DOS based player. It worked, but some tracks couldn't play, which I would have overlooked, but the tracks kept on looping unless you specifically told the player to go to the next track, which got a little annoying, especially if you wanted background music. One track looping a few times is alright, because that's what it does when you play the game, but not for half an hour.

So I was left with the last option, which was to download Winamp, which would have been the answer to all my problems because a) it can play MIDI files natively (I used to listen to my Chrono Trigger soundtrack on it <3) and b) a easy-to-find and install plug-in enabled it to play the native LDS files.

Reluctantly I downloaded Winamp, and chose the most stripped-down version/options available, because I'm going to use it to play only MIDI files and whatever obscure game music formats I'll come across.

Oh, a belated Merry Christmas. 2007 has got to be one of the fastest years yet. Time seems to have gone by in a flash. I'm still living in the past. Craving the past. For so many many reasons.

Rained today. Big bummer. Went to school and ended up chatting the morning away in Can 2. More people turned up than I expected. We eventually decided to pull bow at Hall 6. Borrowed a 28 lbs bow! We eventually went to shoot and the field was super muddy and wet. It was still raining. The 28lb bow is so much nicer to shoot with. Hope I can reach 50m board with it. I lost one arrow in the first end though, which sucked.

We didn't get to shoot much because the rain was getting too annoying to bear. Everyone was suffering serious arrow casualties (damaged nocks, tips, missing fletches), the target paper was tearing and sagging from the weight of the water, and it was hard to get a grip on the arrows to pull them out of the boards because the rain made them so slippery. Plus the wind made it freezing cold. I think we shot about 4 or 5 ends before we gave up.

And I wanted to do two sets, scored. Blah.

We'll be learning how to make string on Saturday. Heard it's going to be a really tedious job, and our first attempts will most likely suck. But I really want a new string! My strings are all so old and yucky.

So yes, aside from talking about archery, there's not much else to talk about. Oh, we had a xmas gathering on Tuesday after training at Settler's Cafe in Holland V. I have a direct bus there! Exciting. Anyway had loads of fun, and the gift exchange thing was hilarious.

Going back to HC tomorrow to play tennis with the juniors. I can't play tennis... but hey, maybe my (slightly) increased arm strength will see some use other than for pulling bow! (Well it's useless if I can't hit the ball properly.)

I fulfilled my goal of finishing American Gods by the end of the week! I think it's one of the few books I've finished so quickly (four days!). I'm not a fast reader at all. I took a week to finish Alastair Reynold's novels (which I finished quite fast too), but they were longer (about 700 pages compared to 500+). But yeah, haven't had the satisfaction of reading a good book for a long time.

I always feel a little sad when I finish a good book. I don't want it to end, but reading it all over again from the beginning just isn't the same.

Oh and I finished Hanazakari no Kimitachi e as well. The ending was okay. I can't really remember how the Taiwan version ended, so I can't compare. I think the manga is still the best. ^.^ But I really like Nakatsu (Ikuta Toma!!! <3) in the Jap version.

Went to Kinokuniya today. Went to other places, but Kino was my last stop. There were so many people! 20% off for Kino cardholders. I didn't get anything though. I was thisclose to buying I Am Legend (yes, the book) and Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass and What Alice Found There. But I didn't, in the end. Part of me was saying, hey it's 20% off, that's a great deal, but the other part of me was telling me that I'd save more money not buying any books at all, so I didn't.

Besides, I can read Alice free from Project Gutenberg. I don't like e-books, but after reading American Gods on my laptop, I decided it's not THAT bad. I still prefer real books though.

The year is ending. Why is there no sense of closure?

Should be happy that I'm kind of busy. Kind of being the operative phrase. Going places, but not feeling anything.

Something's missing.

Have you ever wished that the bands you liked picked better, cooler names? It seriously doesn't sound like much if I go hey, The Nuts is just like, the best band ever. But they're pretty good. The Nuts. Not pecan or almond or ground, just Nuts.


Anyway about training. Shot pretty badly again today. had a score of 88/360 which is really bad. I'm not consistent at all, sometimes I shoot well, sometimes not. Next week we're moving up to 30m. I can't even shoot well at 18 and we have to move up to 30 already. But we have to because competition is 30 and 50m. Sigh. Lots of competitions next year. Hope I don't do too badly, or not get picked at all, because so far my scores during all the mini competitions we had were atrocious. I'm so disappointed with myself. :(

It rained in the middle of training. Arrrggghhh. Got totally drenched. Not that I mind getting wet all that much, but my equipment and bow/arrow cases are wet through. I've got until Tuesday to get them dry. They'd better.

Oh and I decided to go back on Thursday to train (if I'm not the only one going...), despite not having training on that day. I seriously need the practice. Need to be consistent, need to stop hitting my arm (which I continued to, today).

Probably going out for dinner with Mother later, even though it's raining. I don't want to. I'm tired. I just want to fininsh off American Gods (I think I've got a chapter more to go) and stay in my warm, dry house. But I know she feels bored and lonely being cooped up at home all day. So every time she wants to go out, I don't say anything. I try my best to smile do whatever I can to make her happy and be the cheerful daughter I'm not. But I'm not doing very well, especially at the make her happy part.

But look on the bright side! At least I get to eat good food! Yeah, like I need any more good food. I seriously need to cut down of my food intake and get my exercise programme into gear. Oh no, I just remembered that I'm going to Triple Tree tomorrow for a buffet with the other tuition teachers, my boss's treat. Ahahaha. BUFFET. At TRIPLE TREE. Good free food. It's a recipe for disaster.

ARRGHHHH. I am burnt chao da today. Okay, I'm not really burnt really, because there are other people who seriously turned lobster red while I'm burnt mostly on my arms only. So wait, that's still considered burnt, right? Anyway after yesterday's entire day of rain, today was hot hot hot hot hot, I think everyone is 2 or 3 shades darker. And my tan lines just got worse.

On top of that, I was shooting like shit today, and kept on hitting my arm. I have a new bruise now (say hi!) and a few grazes, but you can't see them because the huge bruise eclipses them all.

Oh my grey sport shoes (the one that saw me through most of JC) finally gave up and died on Tuesday training. It was such a pain to walk around that day, not to mention that it was raining as well. Wore Mother's old Reebok shoes, which were white (they're brown now).

Just got home from training and now it's looks like it's going to rain. Or is it already? Wait, I have to check... nope, it isn't. Going for dinner with Mother later. Probably means a trip to NTUC (argh I hate that place) which means grocery-buying, which in turn means I have to lug a huge haul of heavy stuff home again. Luckily I'm in archery, huh? Got arm strength to carry groceries home. Haha.

Oh oh no training on public holidays (Hari Raya & Xmas)! Yay! I was so sure they were going to have training next Thursday, haha, but they're not!

Mmm. Reading Dave Egger's A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (yes, I know I borrowed it once before, but I didn't get to finish it... for some reason, I feel like I won't finish it this time either, because...). I'm also reading Neil Gaiman's American Gods. It's not a genre I'd usually pick up, but Gaiman writes in a very compulsively readable style.

Another reason why I find him interesting is probably the fact that there is some kind of connection between him and Jonathan Carroll, because Gaiman used some plot ideas from one of Carroll's books in one of his Sandman story arcs. I read this somewhere on Amazon's review page so I don't really know the details nor remember them, but yeah. And on retrospect, reading their stories both give me the same kind of feeling.

I'm a little less than halfway through American Gods; plan to finish it by the end of this week.

Ho hum. School's starting on the second week of January. Got to make the most of this holiday!

I can't believe they're showing Witch Yoo Hee (Witch Amusement? Or whatever other title it's going by, I can't be bothered to check) on channel U. It's not that bad a show and I actually finished it (well, I fast-forwarded through the last few episodes) but I absolutely can't stand Moo Ryung and Yoo Hee. MR is a spineless bastard who is too dense to see what's in front of him and too indecisive to, well, make any decision. YH is a spoilt rich brat with a bad temper who's head is probably stuffed with cotton wool. The only person that saved the show was Dennis Oh (who was really hot in Sweet Spy as well). I can't be bothered to post pictures so go google him; it's worth the 20 secs or so of your time. :D

Well, they should show Thank You instead of WYH because it has Jang Hyuk in it. Although WYH came out on VCD earlier, both of them actually aired during the same time slot in Korea. I know because I watched Thank You as the episodes were released--those Chinese fansubbers are just damn fast. And Jang Hyuk was just <3 in it. Sigh. Bought the DVD the other day and I must say the subs are sub-par. The English fansubs you can get online are waaaay better. Seriously, those fansubbers should get paid for their work because they're just so much better quality and efficiency-wise. Granted, the companies that put out DVDs have to wait for licenses to be granted and all that, but that doesn't give them an excuse to release sucky subs. Ugh.

D: In other news, archery training starts tomorrow. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, full day training from 9 to 4. GARLHGsdslkfjf. I think I've absolutely lost all the strength in my arms. I'm gonna have to pull bow again. :( Prepare to see me become more chao da than ever again. And I thought I was losing my tan (fat chance, I still have terrible a terrible shoe/sock mark). :(:(:(

Oh and my BitTorrent seems to be working again! Happy. :)

This is just damn amusing.


I don't know, but the sight of so many people slamming their bodies against that hugeass cardboard structure just cracks me up every time. The Japanese really have a lot of time, don't they?

Went for my JLPT today at the Japanese school. Guess where it is? AT CHANGIIIII. Ohmygod. It was so freaking far away. Left the house at about 8.15am. The test started at 10. I was about 15 min early. Which is actually not too bad. I thought the bus to the Jap school will be crowded, but it surprisingly wasn't. Apparently there are either less people taking JLPT than I thought (I was literally imagining huge crowds at the bus stop and full buses) or they are mostly a privileged lot who take taxis/private cars. Yeah.

Anyway the Jap school is a pretty nondescript building. Security seemed pretty tight with the hugeass fences around the school. I like the foyer though; it's very big and airy. I was in class 1-8 so I didn't have to climb any stairs, haha. You have to take off your shoes before you go in and put them in cubby holes. So cute! LOL. The people sitting in front were seated on child-sized tables and chairs as well. Haha. I was near the back though, so I had a normal table and chair. As you can tell, we were taking the test in the primary school section. The toilets were minuscule as well.

I didn't know anybody so it was pretty boring. Luckily the breaks were only about 10min long (they're supposed to be 20min or something but they take so long to collect the papers and everything) so it was okay. I was wearing my pink Converse shoes so it was a bit of a pain taking them off/wearing them every break. I don't know why I bothered though, seeing that I didn't go anywhere. It was just something to do, I suppose.

They had a buffet laid out outside the classrooms--but they were for the invigilators. Arrrrghh. I was so hungry. :( And although it was a really nice day (今日はいい天気ですから、一緒に散歩しましょう！) it was very very hot by the time the test ended at 12.30pm. And everybody was waiting for the same few buses at the tiny bus stop. The crowd however, was still smaller than I expected, but it didn't make the wait any better. Got on the third bus I could take because the previous ones were too full.

Anyway JLPT4 is over. Yay and all that. Level four is supposed to be easy and I'm sure I'll pass, unless I screw up horribly, which is a possibility, seeing that there were a few questions in the listening section that I couldn't quite catch (I've always been able to understand it the second time round... if only they REPEATED the passages!), and the few grammar questions that I wasn't too sure about.

But hey, I think it's a job well done on my part, seeing that I've only studied 44h of Jap (I'm estimating here... 5 and a half weeks of twice-weekly 2h lessons) when JLPT4 is recommended for people who've studied 150h of Jap. Yeah, I self-studied a lot and I didn't find JLPT4 /easy/. That's for sure. I spent the whole Saturday mugging from morning till midnight (and the three days of studying before that). AND FINALLY. All my exams are over. I can get my well-earned December break before school starts.

Oh I finally got my new glasses! They're sooooo expensive though. I must really treat them with care, haha. Did you know you're supposed to wash your glasses with dishwashing soap? According to the optician (or whatever it is you call the people who sell you spectacles) body/hand soaps are moisturising so they leave the oil on your glasses. Guess I'll have to put a bottle of Mama Lemon in my bathroom from now on, haha.

Monday tomorrow! New tuition year begins. Teaching science to p4/p5 kids. Poor them.

Side note: BitTorrent is bloody slow. I think SingNet blocked all the bloody ports. ARGHDSFLIEJF.

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