06 June, 2007
(0 ) 18:04 There have been one too many times when I don't see the point. In everything.
Anyway. Went to the zoo yesterday! It's been SUCH a long time since I last went, I don't even remember. They refurbished the entrance, and there are a couple of new things, but essentially, the zoo's the same old, same old. We used to be Friends of the Zoo and we'd go down perhaps every other week or so. I loved the animals. I miss the yesterdays.
Will be going for a mini-golf game at Sentosa tomorrow. Argh, another tiring day shepherding kids around and smoothing out frayed nerves. Hope it'll be fun though. I've never actually golfed before.
Am at work and supposed to be proofreading some worksheets. I'm tired and I want to go home and sleep, but then I feel guilty because I think my colleague deserves to be more tired than I am. She's just recovered from a bout of chicken pox, while I've been hale and hearty all the while. I feel like such a loser because I can't take as much crap.
I've been living one day at a time, taking things as they come, but it's tiring. I'm not looking forward to anything (except maybe Jap classes) and I'm not happy. Then again, I'm not happy because I'm not satisfied with the way I am, and I'm not satisfied because, well, I never am. When you have something, you always want something more, and often there are two sides to a coin. If you get something, you'll have to be prepared to take on the consequences that come along with it. It's so easy to call it quits and forget about everything; to retreat back into my safety zone and hibernate; but that isn't the way to live life (then again, who says it isn't, anyway?). You're supposed to seize it by the shoulders and live it with thirst, vigour and enthusiasm. But I can't summon any of those feelings. When I look into the deep dark pool that is me, I only see pessimism and laziness. Sometimes I get so fed up with who I am that I want to dunk my head into that deep dark pool and let myself drown in the tears of my self-pity. (Which is so Bloody Pathetic, Really.)
Anyway. Went to the zoo yesterday! It's been SUCH a long time since I last went, I don't even remember. They refurbished the entrance, and there are a couple of new things, but essentially, the zoo's the same old, same old. We used to be Friends of the Zoo and we'd go down perhaps every other week or so. I loved the animals. I miss the yesterdays.
Will be going for a mini-golf game at Sentosa tomorrow. Argh, another tiring day shepherding kids around and smoothing out frayed nerves. Hope it'll be fun though. I've never actually golfed before.
Am at work and supposed to be proofreading some worksheets. I'm tired and I want to go home and sleep, but then I feel guilty because I think my colleague deserves to be more tired than I am. She's just recovered from a bout of chicken pox, while I've been hale and hearty all the while. I feel like such a loser because I can't take as much crap.
I've been living one day at a time, taking things as they come, but it's tiring. I'm not looking forward to anything (except maybe Jap classes) and I'm not happy. Then again, I'm not happy because I'm not satisfied with the way I am, and I'm not satisfied because, well, I never am. When you have something, you always want something more, and often there are two sides to a coin. If you get something, you'll have to be prepared to take on the consequences that come along with it. It's so easy to call it quits and forget about everything; to retreat back into my safety zone and hibernate; but that isn't the way to live life (then again, who says it isn't, anyway?). You're supposed to seize it by the shoulders and live it with thirst, vigour and enthusiasm. But I can't summon any of those feelings. When I look into the deep dark pool that is me, I only see pessimism and laziness. Sometimes I get so fed up with who I am that I want to dunk my head into that deep dark pool and let myself drown in the tears of my self-pity. (Which is so Bloody Pathetic, Really.)