29 August, 2006
"Actually the best thing to do before the English paper is to read some good literature so that your mind is filled with plentiful ideas, inspirations and beautiful words and expressions." - Trisha at Trisha Reloaded.
Heh.
Good luck to all for GP prelims. I hope there's a topic I can do.
Heh.
Good luck to all for GP prelims. I hope there's a topic I can do.
22:09 / 0 comment(s) 
19 August, 2006
Finally finished Arthur C. Clarke's Rendevous with Rama. I ended up liking it, like most of Clarke's work. I didn't think I would, at first. I'm always very apprehensive about new things. But it turned out to be not so bad after all. Heh. I'm barely halfway through Judas Unchained though. Oh no, it's due the week after. I wonder if I can renew it again. Maybe I should just return the rest of the books and give up. But I don't want to. I think it's funny that I've held onto these books for about 2 months now. Heh. The library people must hate me.
Twelve Kingdoms and Crest of Stars have FINALLY finished downloading. I'm seriously running out of space in my computer... I have an extra 20gb harddisk, but I can't figure out how open the stupid CPU. Yeah, dumb me. You can put about three anime series on 20gb. I need to start burning the anime I want to keep. Darn. I really need more space. Haha.
It's the weekend! I've never felt so much anticipation for a Friday night, even if it's just so I can watch my anime. That's a real sad existence. I think I'll watch more tomorrow morning... then it's on to mugging. Damn.
Twelve Kingdoms and Crest of Stars have FINALLY finished downloading. I'm seriously running out of space in my computer... I have an extra 20gb harddisk, but I can't figure out how open the stupid CPU. Yeah, dumb me. You can put about three anime series on 20gb. I need to start burning the anime I want to keep. Darn. I really need more space. Haha.
It's the weekend! I've never felt so much anticipation for a Friday night, even if it's just so I can watch my anime. That's a real sad existence. I think I'll watch more tomorrow morning... then it's on to mugging. Damn.
01:49 / 0 comment(s)
13 August, 2006
I haven't blogged in a long time. There just wasn't anything to say. I was going to go off to sleep, seeing that it's so late and I'm so tired, but I just had an impulse to write something here.
It's funny how I always think I have lots to write, yet when I actually get down to it, I find myself staring at the blinking cursor instead.
School's a bit shitty at the moment. I guess I'm feeling rather ambivalent about going to school. I know I'd go crazy if I stayed at home, and as much as I hate to admit it, I think going to school does help me improve a little, but it isn't making me feel too happy. When I'm at school, all I wish for is for the day to end so I can go home. Home where I'm safe, where I can hide and think that I'm special and good, where I can indulge in my esoteric interests that make me feel whole again, instead of wandering around the school compound in that horrible uncomfortable uniform that only serves to remind me consistently that I do not belong.
Prelims are just around the corner and I'm far from prepared. I'm trying, I really am, yet somewhere, deep inside, I'm kind of able to feel that my efforts are more or less futile. It's too late, isn't it. And my instincts tend to turn out right, all the times when I wish I was wrong.
O levels are useless. They're barely indicative of your academic abilities, except maybe to perfunctorily gauge your capacity of disciplining yourself to absorb and synthesise trivial facts, and to answer rote questions accordingly. If you scored well at O levels, good for you. But if you had to work your ass off to get those grades, maybe you should have second thoughts about going to a JC. Unless you slept through all your classes and still managed to get 6 points, then maybe you should spare yourself the bother of getting an invigorating mental exercise trying to shove down an entire A level syllabus in 18 months.
Two kinds of people eventually end up going to JC. The people who are smart (and hardworking, but the latter trait is merely a good-to-have) and will actually score well enough to benefit, and the people who can't decide what to do with themselves and decide not to be too radical if they scored well enough to get their asses into a JC. That would be me. But it's too late to go ranting about wrong choices. I think my whole life is just a series of wrong choices waiting to be made.
I know that's a pessimistic worldview. I wish I could change the way I think, to experience a paradigm shift, but I suppose that's just the way I am. My mother always wonders aloud why her daughter is so different from other kids. Why her daughter can't be happier and laugh more. I don't know. I wonder why too.
On a lighter, update-on-my-life note, I've been watching anime recently. Hehe. I downloaded the entire Wolf's Rain anime off BitTorrent and it's one of the best amalgamations of my interests: it's got WOLVES in it, and a science fiction-ish plot that's set in a dystopian future, a fantasy element, is in japanese, has fantastic art, a beautiful soundtrack... the only gripe I have is that I don't really understand the ending. I suppose I have to watch it again.
I've also downloaded Full Metal Alchemist, after being influenced by my classmates who have recently been quite obsessive about it after watching the series. I've watched 3 episodes so far -- it's good, no doubt; it's one of the more popular animes out there. I'm currently downloading Twelve Kingdoms (Juuni Kokki), which I have to rant about because it was almost completed: 60% of 9.7 GB which is a hecklot, until something happened with the server or my connection, I have no idea, and I have to go and download all of it again. ARGH. It's 20% now. =.=;; One more anime I'm downloading is Crest of the Stars (Seikai no Monshou), something which I haven't actually heard of, but was recommended by a website and seemed to suit my taste. It's a mere 3 GB anyway (note the sigh), so I figured it won't take too long. My computer is running out of space though. I need to get off my ass and burn my anime so I can delete them from my computer.
For some reason, I've been reading Harry Potter fanfiction again. It's not easy to sustain my interest in fics -- or is it just that they're badly written? But I've found a few gems, and they've got me hooked. That's partly what made me stay up so late today. >.< I'm also concurrently reading Hamilton's Judas Unchained. YES, I'm still reading that hefty 1000-page tome. I owe so much in library fines and renewal fees it's not even funny. Since I can't actually bring it around with me to school and such, I've also been reading Clarke's Rendevous with Rama. As with most of Clarke's books, I found it hard to get into initially, and several parts have seen my interest waning, but it's got some plot elements that have kept me hooked. I'll definitely have to get the sequels.
It's funny how I always think I have lots to write, yet when I actually get down to it, I find myself staring at the blinking cursor instead.
School's a bit shitty at the moment. I guess I'm feeling rather ambivalent about going to school. I know I'd go crazy if I stayed at home, and as much as I hate to admit it, I think going to school does help me improve a little, but it isn't making me feel too happy. When I'm at school, all I wish for is for the day to end so I can go home. Home where I'm safe, where I can hide and think that I'm special and good, where I can indulge in my esoteric interests that make me feel whole again, instead of wandering around the school compound in that horrible uncomfortable uniform that only serves to remind me consistently that I do not belong.
Prelims are just around the corner and I'm far from prepared. I'm trying, I really am, yet somewhere, deep inside, I'm kind of able to feel that my efforts are more or less futile. It's too late, isn't it. And my instincts tend to turn out right, all the times when I wish I was wrong.
O levels are useless. They're barely indicative of your academic abilities, except maybe to perfunctorily gauge your capacity of disciplining yourself to absorb and synthesise trivial facts, and to answer rote questions accordingly. If you scored well at O levels, good for you. But if you had to work your ass off to get those grades, maybe you should have second thoughts about going to a JC. Unless you slept through all your classes and still managed to get 6 points, then maybe you should spare yourself the bother of getting an invigorating mental exercise trying to shove down an entire A level syllabus in 18 months.
Two kinds of people eventually end up going to JC. The people who are smart (and hardworking, but the latter trait is merely a good-to-have) and will actually score well enough to benefit, and the people who can't decide what to do with themselves and decide not to be too radical if they scored well enough to get their asses into a JC. That would be me. But it's too late to go ranting about wrong choices. I think my whole life is just a series of wrong choices waiting to be made.
I know that's a pessimistic worldview. I wish I could change the way I think, to experience a paradigm shift, but I suppose that's just the way I am. My mother always wonders aloud why her daughter is so different from other kids. Why her daughter can't be happier and laugh more. I don't know. I wonder why too.
On a lighter, update-on-my-life note, I've been watching anime recently. Hehe. I downloaded the entire Wolf's Rain anime off BitTorrent and it's one of the best amalgamations of my interests: it's got WOLVES in it, and a science fiction-ish plot that's set in a dystopian future, a fantasy element, is in japanese, has fantastic art, a beautiful soundtrack... the only gripe I have is that I don't really understand the ending. I suppose I have to watch it again.
I've also downloaded Full Metal Alchemist, after being influenced by my classmates who have recently been quite obsessive about it after watching the series. I've watched 3 episodes so far -- it's good, no doubt; it's one of the more popular animes out there. I'm currently downloading Twelve Kingdoms (Juuni Kokki), which I have to rant about because it was almost completed: 60% of 9.7 GB which is a hecklot, until something happened with the server or my connection, I have no idea, and I have to go and download all of it again. ARGH. It's 20% now. =.=;; One more anime I'm downloading is Crest of the Stars (Seikai no Monshou), something which I haven't actually heard of, but was recommended by a website and seemed to suit my taste. It's a mere 3 GB anyway (note the sigh), so I figured it won't take too long. My computer is running out of space though. I need to get off my ass and burn my anime so I can delete them from my computer.
For some reason, I've been reading Harry Potter fanfiction again. It's not easy to sustain my interest in fics -- or is it just that they're badly written? But I've found a few gems, and they've got me hooked. That's partly what made me stay up so late today. >.< I'm also concurrently reading Hamilton's Judas Unchained. YES, I'm still reading that hefty 1000-page tome. I owe so much in library fines and renewal fees it's not even funny. Since I can't actually bring it around with me to school and such, I've also been reading Clarke's Rendevous with Rama. As with most of Clarke's books, I found it hard to get into initially, and several parts have seen my interest waning, but it's got some plot elements that have kept me hooked. I'll definitely have to get the sequels.
02:37 / 0 comment(s)