25 March, 2005
(0 ) 17:55 I am Sad, Sad I am.
To tell the truth, the day was quite fine and relatively better compared to the previous two days. In fact I managed to keep sad thoughts out of my mind right up to PE -- or maybe it only lasted till Physics, I'm not sure. But one thing good about PE was that we didn't have soccer today, which rocked. Yay. All hail haze from Indonesia.
Let's see. After discovering that we didn't have soccer for PE, Rachel and I went to the bookshop to get TYS for maths. Then after putting back her books at the class bench (and me paying You Jin for them), I went to do a bit of inclined pull-ups just for the heck of it. Attempted to jump up to the pull-up bar which was really too high, but just made a fool of myself and got laughed at. Yay. I don't know why I put up with it. I guess it's a twisted kind of attention, and I love attention. It's this attention-craving thing that I have that makes me sick. Oh well.
After I got sick of doing exercise, we went back to the class bench where I attempted induction for a while, but gave up soon after. Felt quite sad then, because I was being left alone to think about things. I mean, other people were minding their own business, so essentially it was just me and my thoughts. I felt so lonely, despite everyone around me.
You know they always have those questions about what song most represents your life? Well, I have a song that always accurately describes how I feel...
Mad World - Gary Jules
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early are the daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world
Apologies for the long chunk of lyrics. If you're reading this post, I do hope you didn't skip it, because it's so accurate in depicting how I feel and who I am. Believe it or not, I sing it to myself a lot of the time, especially when I'm not feeling particularly good.
Okay, apologies. That was a rather large deviation from the topic. Waited at the class bench for Wei Jie, Da En, Poh Wei and Eng Liang to do whatever, then went to Orchard with them. They were going out today, while I was going to meet Kathy at City Hall, so I just went along with them, since clingy me didn't want to go alone. When I met Kathy, saw Yi Hui, Steffi and Cherie there... did some catching up with them, and for some reason, seeing them made me feel even sadder than before. Changed MRT at Tanah Merah and met Weiqi, then proceeded to Changi Airport.
The Changi Airport MRT station looks really good. However the floor made me dizzy, because it was all 3-D circles. Haha. Went to some food place at Terminal 1 and saw a lot of 4D people there! Was quite surprised. Felt a little bit more happy when I started to catch up with them too. Dawn and Yingwan's friends also turned up, and seeing the SA people who were Yingwan's friends made me feel very sad because they made me think of Lay Ning... and I don't want to go there, really. Not now, not yet.
You know what? I didn't think I'd cry. Actually, I didn't, but I did get a bit teary when they left. We did the whole take pictures and stuff thing before they went. I don't really like picture-taking, but oh well. After sending them off, Kathy, Weiqi and I went to Terminal 2 to look for something to eat. Eventually went to Swensen's. Sat and talked about Kathy's experience with... dash2, shall we call him. Don't ask me why, it's an in-joke kind of thing. I don't know the person's name anyway. We left at about 9pm.
The MRT ride back home wasn't as long as I thought it would be. It's not really that long, it took me a little under one and a half hours to get home, which is better than St. Nick's. Was reading The Little Prince, which I asked Kathy to help me buy. It's such a great book, and I read half of it on the MRT. I think I'll finish it tonight. My favourite bits are all at the end anyway.
It's a 3-day weekend. I think I'll go crazy. Have to finish my homework, and try not to mope too much. Really. I'm still sad, and I don't think I'll get over it soon. I thought I did earlier today, but I guess I was wrong. =/
It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
To tell the truth, the day was quite fine and relatively better compared to the previous two days. In fact I managed to keep sad thoughts out of my mind right up to PE -- or maybe it only lasted till Physics, I'm not sure. But one thing good about PE was that we didn't have soccer today, which rocked. Yay. All hail haze from Indonesia.
Let's see. After discovering that we didn't have soccer for PE, Rachel and I went to the bookshop to get TYS for maths. Then after putting back her books at the class bench (and me paying You Jin for them), I went to do a bit of inclined pull-ups just for the heck of it. Attempted to jump up to the pull-up bar which was really too high, but just made a fool of myself and got laughed at. Yay. I don't know why I put up with it. I guess it's a twisted kind of attention, and I love attention. It's this attention-craving thing that I have that makes me sick. Oh well.
After I got sick of doing exercise, we went back to the class bench where I attempted induction for a while, but gave up soon after. Felt quite sad then, because I was being left alone to think about things. I mean, other people were minding their own business, so essentially it was just me and my thoughts. I felt so lonely, despite everyone around me.
You know they always have those questions about what song most represents your life? Well, I have a song that always accurately describes how I feel...
Mad World - Gary Jules
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces
Bright and early are the daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world
Apologies for the long chunk of lyrics. If you're reading this post, I do hope you didn't skip it, because it's so accurate in depicting how I feel and who I am. Believe it or not, I sing it to myself a lot of the time, especially when I'm not feeling particularly good.
Okay, apologies. That was a rather large deviation from the topic. Waited at the class bench for Wei Jie, Da En, Poh Wei and Eng Liang to do whatever, then went to Orchard with them. They were going out today, while I was going to meet Kathy at City Hall, so I just went along with them, since clingy me didn't want to go alone. When I met Kathy, saw Yi Hui, Steffi and Cherie there... did some catching up with them, and for some reason, seeing them made me feel even sadder than before. Changed MRT at Tanah Merah and met Weiqi, then proceeded to Changi Airport.
The Changi Airport MRT station looks really good. However the floor made me dizzy, because it was all 3-D circles. Haha. Went to some food place at Terminal 1 and saw a lot of 4D people there! Was quite surprised. Felt a little bit more happy when I started to catch up with them too. Dawn and Yingwan's friends also turned up, and seeing the SA people who were Yingwan's friends made me feel very sad because they made me think of Lay Ning... and I don't want to go there, really. Not now, not yet.
You know what? I didn't think I'd cry. Actually, I didn't, but I did get a bit teary when they left. We did the whole take pictures and stuff thing before they went. I don't really like picture-taking, but oh well. After sending them off, Kathy, Weiqi and I went to Terminal 2 to look for something to eat. Eventually went to Swensen's. Sat and talked about Kathy's experience with... dash2, shall we call him. Don't ask me why, it's an in-joke kind of thing. I don't know the person's name anyway. We left at about 9pm.
The MRT ride back home wasn't as long as I thought it would be. It's not really that long, it took me a little under one and a half hours to get home, which is better than St. Nick's. Was reading The Little Prince, which I asked Kathy to help me buy. It's such a great book, and I read half of it on the MRT. I think I'll finish it tonight. My favourite bits are all at the end anyway.
It's a 3-day weekend. I think I'll go crazy. Have to finish my homework, and try not to mope too much. Really. I'm still sad, and I don't think I'll get over it soon. I thought I did earlier today, but I guess I was wrong. =/