01 November, 2006
17 November 2007: This page needs a seeerious overhaul. :D
Yes, hello, this page is supposed to be about me.
But the ironic thing is that you probably do know who I am. I mean, it's mostly my friends who'll come here, and the only strange people I get snooping around are the poor souls that get caught unawares via Google, and even then, it's a rare occurrence now that I'm not on my own domain anymore.
Well now, I wouldn't put up a page for nothing of course, so I shall start typing up something.
My name is Qian. I was born on 12 November 1988. And I like reading.
So I'm not that great at introducing myself, but there's just something about books that enrapture my heart and speak to my soul. I thought this quote was oddly appropriate:
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow
Here's a list of books that have left a lasting impression with me. I've never been a re-reader or re-watcher of many things, but if I do read a book again, it will most probably be one of these:
Also, I love Iain (M.) BANKS, especially Consider Phlebas, The Player Of Games, Espedair Street and The Crow Road.
Another author whom I love is Jonathan CARROLL. His books are oddly magical and they're capable of bringing you to another realm altogether, where it's so easy to lose yourself in his beautiful prose. Personal favourites of mine include The Land Of Laughs and White Apples.
As you can see, I'm a science fiction fan with tastes for fantasy.
Besides reading, I love roleplaying wolves, as well as writing in general. I feel that I'm only able to express myself in words, however inadequate they are, because I'm not a particularly social person. I'm a closet introvert, in that people who "know" me sometimes see me as an outgoing, exuberant and confident girl who is not afraid to express herself and intent on sharing her opinions with the world. I believe that I behave that way to make up for my fear of facing the world, because in pretending to be someone I am not, I can hopefully become a better person in the end. It's like how you try to smile even when you feel sad, because you might feel a little happier.
I also love music. Well, listening to it, that is. I've tried my hand at producing it, but well, I'll just say I prefer being on the receiving end. As far as formal music education goes, I'm only up to Grade 2 in piano, both in practical and theory, and that's where I stopped. I don't intend to continue. I just didn't like the examinations.
I sing, and that's perhaps the extent of my music-making. I've been in school choirs since I was 10, and have enjoyed the experience very much. I don't intend to keep it up when I go to university though, because I think it's time for a change. I mean, 8 years is more than enough. However I find singing in a choir (which is very different from solo singing) exhilarating. Although the practice is tough and brain-draining, the end results are always worth it. And due to my choir background, I have developed a capacity to appreciate and enjoy choral music, a genre some people find a little hard on their ears, but I consider it my fortune.
Other more mainstream music I consider favourites would be bands and singers like Chage & Aska, ELLEGARDEN, Enya, Keane, Relient K, Robbie Williams, Ronan Keating, Savage Garden, SPITZ, Switchfoot, The Decemberists, TOKIO, 河村隆一, Soler, 石康军, 陶喆 and 任贤齐. Check out what I'm listening to right now:
It's not really accurate though, because since I started work I've been relying heavily on my MP3 player instead, which I probably rack up a few hundred tracks a week, and it doesn't go recorded here, but who cares. :P
I am also hopelessly addicted to the computer. I mean, it's very difficult not to be, when you think about it. You can do just about a gazillion things on the computer like read, write, listen to music, play video games, watch movies... well, that's the extent of what I do in my free time. ^^;
I'm not much of a gamer, but I am an RPG fan and have enjoyed games such as Chrono Trigger, Riviera: The Promised Land, Golden Sun, Star Ocean and other random games. I have a short attention span however, and a perennial bad habit of being over-reliant on walkthroughs, which I admit takes some of the fun away.
On a more conventional note, I've just completed my GCE 'A' Level examinations, and am waiting for my results, then plunging ahead into university the next. So right now I'm lazing around and completely vegetating in front of the computer. I'm sure this is not healthy. When I'm not getting my brains turned to mush at home, I'm doing so at work, which is my attempt at being a contributing member of society. Officially, I'm a teaching assistant at a tuition centre, but I do lots of other blah stuff there as well.
I am an only child, but few people can tell. Is this a good or bad thing? But I must admit I'm rather spoilt because my parents usually have no qualms about giving me what I want.
People might not know this because I'm not a person who openly expresses her feelings, but I'm extremely clingy. I value my friends very much, and they're very important to me because without them, I don't think I revert to normalcy now and then. (I would become a hermit otherwise.) I like to think I'm a living example that everyone has friends. It's just a matter of how many. But then again, I don't think the numbers count. It's great if you have many friends and they all love you, but I'm content with the few who love me for who I am. However I tend to over-invest emotionally, and feel greatly betrayed when friends are better friends with other friends, but I suppose this might be due to me being an only child and wanting attention. So I tend to cling onto the few friends whom I have, yet because I know I have a tendency to do so, I step back because I think I might frighten people off. So it's kind of like a paradox. Hmm.
I'm a born pessimist. It's so much a part of me that I find it terrifying, because I want so hard to change and be positive that when I realise that I simply can't change, I feel so lost and afraid. I am jealous of those who can find laughter in their lives and I think it is perhaps the greatest gift anyone can have. I just wish that I could borrow their rose-tinted glasses, even if it were only for a day.
My life is full of wishes. Being me is such a difficult thing and I often wish I were someone else. I know this kind of discontent is unhealthy, but who said I was, anyway? Currently I think I'm trying to find myself, but saying that is so vague. I mean, there are the usual things like educational goals and things, but I don't know what I want to BE. I don't know what I want to achieve. I'm just living it a day at a time, and I just wish for the simplest of things. I just want to be happy.
These are a few of my notable posts:
Yes, hello, this page is supposed to be about me.
But the ironic thing is that you probably do know who I am. I mean, it's mostly my friends who'll come here, and the only strange people I get snooping around are the poor souls that get caught unawares via Google, and even then, it's a rare occurrence now that I'm not on my own domain anymore.
Well now, I wouldn't put up a page for nothing of course, so I shall start typing up something.
My name is Qian. I was born on 12 November 1988. And I like reading.
So I'm not that great at introducing myself, but there's just something about books that enrapture my heart and speak to my soul. I thought this quote was oddly appropriate:
From my books surcease of sorrow
- "The Raven" by E. A. Poe
Here's a list of books that have left a lasting impression with me. I've never been a re-reader or re-watcher of many things, but if I do read a book again, it will most probably be one of these:
- Animorphs by K.A. APPLEGATE
- Everworld by K.A. APPLEGATE
- Dragon Fire by Charles ASHTON
- Moonseed by Stephen BAXTER
- Jupiter by Ben BOVA
- Ender's Game by Orson Scott CARD
- Speaker For The Dead by Orson Scott CARD
- Xenocide by Orson Scott CARD
- Children of the Mind by Orson Scott CARD
- The Space Odyssey Series by Arthur C. CLARKE
- The Named by Marianne CURLEY
- The Neverending Story by Michael ENDE
- The Solitaire Mystery by Jostein GAARDER
- Replay by Ken GRIMWOOD
- Flowers for Algernon by Daniel KEYES
- Red Sky in the Morning by Elizabeth LAIRD
- The Time Traveller's Wife by Audrey NIFFENEGGER
- Shade's Children by Garth NIX
- His Dark Materials by Philip PULLMAN
- Chasm City by Alastair REYNOLDS
- Revelation Space by Alastair REYNOLDS
- Redemption Ark by Alastair REYNOLDS
- Absolution Gap by Alastair REYNOLDS
- Unto Leviathan (Ship of Fools) by Richard Paul RUSSO
- Factoring Humanity by Robert J. SAWYER
- The Lovely Bones by Alice SEBOLD
- We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel SHRIVER
- Ilium by Dan SIMMONS
- Cavalcade by Alison SINCLAIR
- Battle Royale by Koushun TAKAMI
- Kafka on the Shore by Haruki MURAKAMI
- Rain by Kate LE VANN
- The Ghost's Child by Sonya HARTNETT
Also, I love Iain (M.) BANKS, especially Consider Phlebas, The Player Of Games, Espedair Street and The Crow Road.
Another author whom I love is Jonathan CARROLL. His books are oddly magical and they're capable of bringing you to another realm altogether, where it's so easy to lose yourself in his beautiful prose. Personal favourites of mine include The Land Of Laughs and White Apples.
As you can see, I'm a science fiction fan with tastes for fantasy.
Besides reading, I love roleplaying wolves, as well as writing in general. I feel that I'm only able to express myself in words, however inadequate they are, because I'm not a particularly social person. I'm a closet introvert, in that people who "know" me sometimes see me as an outgoing, exuberant and confident girl who is not afraid to express herself and intent on sharing her opinions with the world. I believe that I behave that way to make up for my fear of facing the world, because in pretending to be someone I am not, I can hopefully become a better person in the end. It's like how you try to smile even when you feel sad, because you might feel a little happier.
I also love music. Well, listening to it, that is. I've tried my hand at producing it, but well, I'll just say I prefer being on the receiving end. As far as formal music education goes, I'm only up to Grade 2 in piano, both in practical and theory, and that's where I stopped. I don't intend to continue. I just didn't like the examinations.
I sing, and that's perhaps the extent of my music-making. I've been in school choirs since I was 10, and have enjoyed the experience very much. I don't intend to keep it up when I go to university though, because I think it's time for a change. I mean, 8 years is more than enough. However I find singing in a choir (which is very different from solo singing) exhilarating. Although the practice is tough and brain-draining, the end results are always worth it. And due to my choir background, I have developed a capacity to appreciate and enjoy choral music, a genre some people find a little hard on their ears, but I consider it my fortune.
Other more mainstream music I consider favourites would be bands and singers like Chage & Aska, ELLEGARDEN, Enya, Keane, Relient K, Robbie Williams, Ronan Keating, Savage Garden, SPITZ, Switchfoot, The Decemberists, TOKIO, 河村隆一, Soler, 石康军, 陶喆 and 任贤齐. Check out what I'm listening to right now:
It's not really accurate though, because since I started work I've been relying heavily on my MP3 player instead, which I probably rack up a few hundred tracks a week, and it doesn't go recorded here, but who cares. :P
I am also hopelessly addicted to the computer. I mean, it's very difficult not to be, when you think about it. You can do just about a gazillion things on the computer like read, write, listen to music, play video games, watch movies... well, that's the extent of what I do in my free time. ^^;
I'm not much of a gamer, but I am an RPG fan and have enjoyed games such as Chrono Trigger, Riviera: The Promised Land, Golden Sun, Star Ocean and other random games. I have a short attention span however, and a perennial bad habit of being over-reliant on walkthroughs, which I admit takes some of the fun away.
On a more conventional note, I've just completed my GCE 'A' Level examinations, and am waiting for my results, then plunging ahead into university the next. So right now I'm lazing around and completely vegetating in front of the computer. I'm sure this is not healthy. When I'm not getting my brains turned to mush at home, I'm doing so at work, which is my attempt at being a contributing member of society. Officially, I'm a teaching assistant at a tuition centre, but I do lots of other blah stuff there as well.
I am an only child, but few people can tell. Is this a good or bad thing? But I must admit I'm rather spoilt because my parents usually have no qualms about giving me what I want.
People might not know this because I'm not a person who openly expresses her feelings, but I'm extremely clingy. I value my friends very much, and they're very important to me because without them, I don't think I revert to normalcy now and then. (I would become a hermit otherwise.) I like to think I'm a living example that everyone has friends. It's just a matter of how many. But then again, I don't think the numbers count. It's great if you have many friends and they all love you, but I'm content with the few who love me for who I am. However I tend to over-invest emotionally, and feel greatly betrayed when friends are better friends with other friends, but I suppose this might be due to me being an only child and wanting attention. So I tend to cling onto the few friends whom I have, yet because I know I have a tendency to do so, I step back because I think I might frighten people off. So it's kind of like a paradox. Hmm.
I'm a born pessimist. It's so much a part of me that I find it terrifying, because I want so hard to change and be positive that when I realise that I simply can't change, I feel so lost and afraid. I am jealous of those who can find laughter in their lives and I think it is perhaps the greatest gift anyone can have. I just wish that I could borrow their rose-tinted glasses, even if it were only for a day.
My life is full of wishes. Being me is such a difficult thing and I often wish I were someone else. I know this kind of discontent is unhealthy, but who said I was, anyway? Currently I think I'm trying to find myself, but saying that is so vague. I mean, there are the usual things like educational goals and things, but I don't know what I want to BE. I don't know what I want to achieve. I'm just living it a day at a time, and I just wish for the simplest of things. I just want to be happy.
These are a few of my notable posts:
- Feelings
- Strangers
- Re-visiting
- Eviscerated
- Too Much
- I Remember (I actually don't.)
- Drowning
- Phases
- 寂寞的季节(first paragraph)
- Analysis I
- Angelproof
- Fill Me
- Thks Fr Th Mmrs
- I Can't Hear The Music
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