29 October, 2005
(0 ) 17:44 Tomorrow's Meow's birthday! Happy Birthday dear girl. Hope you will enjoy your 17th year on Earth. Have laughter and faith always for they will bring you far. =)
Went out with Meow and Weiqi today to celebrate. Sang our lungs out at Suntec's KBox, which had horrible food. Ugh. But we did enjoy singing the songs, and I even sang more than usual (Shi Kang Jun!). And as usual, Weiqi was pro at everything. Haha. That girl can sing real well. XP Hope to hear more of your songs.
Went to Tower Records after that to browse a bit, and I found Relient K's albums! I've liked Be My Escape the moment I heard it playing that day we were choosing a song for fac dance, and so I bought it, even if it cost me $25. >.< Am listening to it right now, and I can tell you I didn't make a wrong decision: it rocks. Literally. =D
Had fac outing yesterday. There's nothing much to say about it, really, or at least, nothing much I want to say. But it's been a learning experience. And it's also made me think. A little too much, perhaps. Then again I might hesitate to call it "thinking". It's more like "wallowing" or "brooding". But that's not the point. It's just brought to light several things I don't like about myself (try "hate", but I'm pointedly not using that word), which I've been trying really hard to shut out so that I can keep a shred of my non-existent self-esteem.
I admit it, I have a huge problem with confidence and self-esteem. If those two qualities were real, material things, mine would look like a dewdrop on a leaf -- precarious and on the verge of falling off. There's probably a world of things I can do to change that, but I don't know how or where to begin. So I sit here, stagnated, trying to claw my way to some kind of light, instead of staring at the darkness that seems to emanate from myself. I wonder what it takes to feel better, but every time I try to think of something positive to say, ten other negative things come to the forefront. I seem to be waiting for someone or something to bring me out of this funk, but if there's anything I've learned, is that in the end, no one will help you. You can only help yourself.
But I can't. I can't I can't I can't.
Went out with Meow and Weiqi today to celebrate. Sang our lungs out at Suntec's KBox, which had horrible food. Ugh. But we did enjoy singing the songs, and I even sang more than usual (Shi Kang Jun!). And as usual, Weiqi was pro at everything. Haha. That girl can sing real well. XP Hope to hear more of your songs.
Went to Tower Records after that to browse a bit, and I found Relient K's albums! I've liked Be My Escape the moment I heard it playing that day we were choosing a song for fac dance, and so I bought it, even if it cost me $25. >.< Am listening to it right now, and I can tell you I didn't make a wrong decision: it rocks. Literally. =D
Had fac outing yesterday. There's nothing much to say about it, really, or at least, nothing much I want to say. But it's been a learning experience. And it's also made me think. A little too much, perhaps. Then again I might hesitate to call it "thinking". It's more like "wallowing" or "brooding". But that's not the point. It's just brought to light several things I don't like about myself (try "hate", but I'm pointedly not using that word), which I've been trying really hard to shut out so that I can keep a shred of my non-existent self-esteem.
I admit it, I have a huge problem with confidence and self-esteem. If those two qualities were real, material things, mine would look like a dewdrop on a leaf -- precarious and on the verge of falling off. There's probably a world of things I can do to change that, but I don't know how or where to begin. So I sit here, stagnated, trying to claw my way to some kind of light, instead of staring at the darkness that seems to emanate from myself. I wonder what it takes to feel better, but every time I try to think of something positive to say, ten other negative things come to the forefront. I seem to be waiting for someone or something to bring me out of this funk, but if there's anything I've learned, is that in the end, no one will help you. You can only help yourself.
But I can't. I can't I can't I can't.