21 August, 2005
I've always wanted to stab myself into oblivion.
I can't remember much about what happened on Monday. All I can recollect is that there wasn't any Chem during our first period so we had two morning periods free. However I spent my time working on my Chem tute, so it didn't make too much a difference anyway.
Went for commserve on Tuesday. Commserve is community service, which is what I do in Interact. It was cool, sort of made a new friend, an adult volunteer. I'm sad to note that I don't know her name, though. Today the other girl didn't come, so I tutored Charlene's two other sisters. Her sisters are both in P3, but they aren't twins, so I'm not sure if they're sisters or not. But they have the same surnames and all, so I assume they are.
Children are so trusting and so genuine. And the best thing is, they don't judge you. It was fun being with them,helping them with their homework and stuff. To tell the truth, I was kind of nervous and jumpy and dreading going for commserve that day, because it was only the second time I went, and I wasn't sure if I remembered the place properly and all that. Turned out I arrived early (and so, made a friend), and I enjoyed myself thoroughly.
During the peer counselling workshop last week, the counsellors told us that we shouldn't be helping people to make ourselves feel better, to make ourselves feel wanted and needed and useful. But I think that's what I'm doing. Helping these kids make me feel better, because I'm in this deep funk I seem to be unable to pull myself out of.
Which brings me to talk about Wednesday, when I went for the final session of that peer counselling workshop. The aim of the workshop is to equip students with the knowledge and skills to handle situations when a friend is having a problem. But the ironic thing is that I found out that I should be the one going for counselling, not giving it. What drove the nail is was how everyone was jokingly asked the be counselled by me after I told them that I went for the workshop. Good Lord, I'm in no position to tell you guys what to do -- I seem to have lost the sense of direction myself.
Thursday we had the 2nd Artemis faculty committee meeting, but my first. Missed the first one because of choir rehearsals at Esplanade. I enjoyed myself during the meeting, it was fun and enjoyable, but also brought up a lot of deadlines which weren't too fun to meet. But overall it made me optimistic and excited about next year, especially, with all these new juniors coming in and us having a hand in creating a great Hwa Chong experience for them.
Friday -- oddly enough, I can't remember much of it. It's funny how our mind seems to subconsciously block out things you don't want to remember. And Friday wasn't a day I would have chosen to remember.
Finished Iain Bank's Espedair Street. And dear Lord, I loved it. I don't even dare to say why I love it so much; it just won't do justice to it. It's the humour, the self-deprecation, the odd, pathetic strength of hismain character that made me fall in love with his prose. Oh dear, there I go explaining it away and ruining it. So I won't continue. But this makes me want to go buy it. I have way too many books that sit on a pile on my floor because there isn't space on my bookshelf.
Went out for dinner at Bugis with parents today. Bugis, because I wanted to go to the library. Haha. We ate at some Japanese place where the food was quite good but slow to arrive, and I finally bought my jacket (yay!). Also bought a top and a keychain from DCP. They had a 10% discount for students! I was lucky I brought my ezlink card along. Hah!
Borrowed four books, Foundation and The Complete Robot by Issac Asimov, Rewind by Ken Grimwood and Century Rain by Alastiar Reynolds. Century Rain was in Hardback! It's quite humongous, actually, but I don't care. I'm a bookworm and proud of it.
So that's a recap of my week. Until next time...
I can't remember much about what happened on Monday. All I can recollect is that there wasn't any Chem during our first period so we had two morning periods free. However I spent my time working on my Chem tute, so it didn't make too much a difference anyway.
Went for commserve on Tuesday. Commserve is community service, which is what I do in Interact. It was cool, sort of made a new friend, an adult volunteer. I'm sad to note that I don't know her name, though. Today the other girl didn't come, so I tutored Charlene's two other sisters. Her sisters are both in P3, but they aren't twins, so I'm not sure if they're sisters or not. But they have the same surnames and all, so I assume they are.
Children are so trusting and so genuine. And the best thing is, they don't judge you. It was fun being with them,helping them with their homework and stuff. To tell the truth, I was kind of nervous and jumpy and dreading going for commserve that day, because it was only the second time I went, and I wasn't sure if I remembered the place properly and all that. Turned out I arrived early (and so, made a friend), and I enjoyed myself thoroughly.
During the peer counselling workshop last week, the counsellors told us that we shouldn't be helping people to make ourselves feel better, to make ourselves feel wanted and needed and useful. But I think that's what I'm doing. Helping these kids make me feel better, because I'm in this deep funk I seem to be unable to pull myself out of.
Which brings me to talk about Wednesday, when I went for the final session of that peer counselling workshop. The aim of the workshop is to equip students with the knowledge and skills to handle situations when a friend is having a problem. But the ironic thing is that I found out that I should be the one going for counselling, not giving it. What drove the nail is was how everyone was jokingly asked the be counselled by me after I told them that I went for the workshop. Good Lord, I'm in no position to tell you guys what to do -- I seem to have lost the sense of direction myself.
Thursday we had the 2nd Artemis faculty committee meeting, but my first. Missed the first one because of choir rehearsals at Esplanade. I enjoyed myself during the meeting, it was fun and enjoyable, but also brought up a lot of deadlines which weren't too fun to meet. But overall it made me optimistic and excited about next year, especially, with all these new juniors coming in and us having a hand in creating a great Hwa Chong experience for them.
Friday -- oddly enough, I can't remember much of it. It's funny how our mind seems to subconsciously block out things you don't want to remember. And Friday wasn't a day I would have chosen to remember.
Finished Iain Bank's Espedair Street. And dear Lord, I loved it. I don't even dare to say why I love it so much; it just won't do justice to it. It's the humour, the self-deprecation, the odd, pathetic strength of hismain character that made me fall in love with his prose. Oh dear, there I go explaining it away and ruining it. So I won't continue. But this makes me want to go buy it. I have way too many books that sit on a pile on my floor because there isn't space on my bookshelf.
Went out for dinner at Bugis with parents today. Bugis, because I wanted to go to the library. Haha. We ate at some Japanese place where the food was quite good but slow to arrive, and I finally bought my jacket (yay!). Also bought a top and a keychain from DCP. They had a 10% discount for students! I was lucky I brought my ezlink card along. Hah!
Borrowed four books, Foundation and The Complete Robot by Issac Asimov, Rewind by Ken Grimwood and Century Rain by Alastiar Reynolds. Century Rain was in Hardback! It's quite humongous, actually, but I don't care. I'm a bookworm and proud of it.
So that's a recap of my week. Until next time...
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