28 June, 2005
BWEE, I'm here again. Chem was the hurricane that came and gone. I'm not any more relieved that it's over, actually. In fact, I don't seem to feel better at all. But whatever.
Today in school, I was just thinking and reflecting. Even if these Blocks are over, the same things will still plague me. It seems kind of trivial when you view it against a backdrop of bigger things, but it's still kind of dominating me. It's the feeling that I'll never be able to catch up, always lag far behind.
I've had dreams, a few times, actually, of running and running towards something, but for some reason I can't move my legs fast enough, and before I reach my destination, it's slipped away and gone. Do you know how frustrating it feels, even though it was just a dream? How you feel all this power in your legs that you want to unleash and just make yourself go faster, your heart and mind willing for your feet to just go, but somehow you can't?
And now that school has started again, I'm once again reminded of how I inherently still can't get along with people. How I can't talk to them. How I feel so stupid and inadequate for not being able to talk to them. Even though I want to talk so much. I had so much to say.
Today in school, I was just thinking and reflecting. Even if these Blocks are over, the same things will still plague me. It seems kind of trivial when you view it against a backdrop of bigger things, but it's still kind of dominating me. It's the feeling that I'll never be able to catch up, always lag far behind.
I've had dreams, a few times, actually, of running and running towards something, but for some reason I can't move my legs fast enough, and before I reach my destination, it's slipped away and gone. Do you know how frustrating it feels, even though it was just a dream? How you feel all this power in your legs that you want to unleash and just make yourself go faster, your heart and mind willing for your feet to just go, but somehow you can't?
And now that school has started again, I'm once again reminded of how I inherently still can't get along with people. How I can't talk to them. How I feel so stupid and inadequate for not being able to talk to them. Even though I want to talk so much. I had so much to say.
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