01 May, 2005
I Have A Dream- Abba
I have a dream
A song to sing
To help me cope
With anything
I tend to have recurring dreams. Not in the traditional sense, I guess, where people dream about the exact same thing over and over again but rather recurring places that don't exist out of my dreamscape. Most of the time the same things happen, but today something was different, and I was pleasantly surprised, because new people populated it. It was an odd experience, but it felt kind of good. I like dreams. I don't have nightmares, again, not in the traditional sense. Sometimes I have dreams that creep me out, but I like them anyway. I like how they seem so real, how they allow me to experience new things. I go through phases sometimes, when I can remember almost every dream I have, and during those periods, I really look forward to going to sleep, because I wonder what will happen in my dreams. It's like a serial that I'm addicted to. It's fun.
Today woke up late. Argh. Was about 5 min late for choir. How embarrassing. I don't like how Amanda sounds so intimidating when she asks why I'm late. I mean, I'm sorry, but I think I sounded rather rude in my reply because her tone provoked me. As you can tell, this isn't the first time I'm late. But blah. You know, responsibility and all that.
I think I had fun during choir today, not because of the people, definitely, because I don't think I'm very close to them, but more because I really felt good singing today. We might not have sounded our best, but I'd say I enjoyed how we sounded anyway. Sometimes I feel as if I'm sick of singing, especially during CCA in the afternoon, because I'm just so tired. Digressing a little, I must say I have no idea why I'm tired so much of the time. I think it has a lot to do with my defeatist attitude. I know I should change, but. But.
You know what? I finally finished A9. I know I should feel a sense of achievement or whatever, but I don't. Instead I feel even more bogged down than before, because by finishing it, it just reminds me of just how much work I have to do. Yet do you know what I've been doing these past few nights? I spent the whole of Friday night watching TV for 8 hours straight. And 3 more today. Damn. I don't know. Maybe I've pushed myself past the breaking point (er, I think 'pushed' is wrong... more like 'I want to pretend I've pushed'). I've been indulging myself, maybe it's to rebel against all the tasks I have to complete. To just say to it, in the face: FUCK OFF. That kind of thing. I know I shouldn't. Yet I am.Why? Hmm. There's some food for thought.
I've just thought of one thing not good about staying up late: you get really really hungry. Ugh. Anyhoo, this ends my post. Bah. Shall wake up and do more work tomorrow. (Yeah right, like you're going to actually DO anything. Slacker.)
I can sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow, sing a rainbow too.
I have a dream
A song to sing
To help me cope
With anything
I tend to have recurring dreams. Not in the traditional sense, I guess, where people dream about the exact same thing over and over again but rather recurring places that don't exist out of my dreamscape. Most of the time the same things happen, but today something was different, and I was pleasantly surprised, because new people populated it. It was an odd experience, but it felt kind of good. I like dreams. I don't have nightmares, again, not in the traditional sense. Sometimes I have dreams that creep me out, but I like them anyway. I like how they seem so real, how they allow me to experience new things. I go through phases sometimes, when I can remember almost every dream I have, and during those periods, I really look forward to going to sleep, because I wonder what will happen in my dreams. It's like a serial that I'm addicted to. It's fun.
Today woke up late. Argh. Was about 5 min late for choir. How embarrassing. I don't like how Amanda sounds so intimidating when she asks why I'm late. I mean, I'm sorry, but I think I sounded rather rude in my reply because her tone provoked me. As you can tell, this isn't the first time I'm late. But blah. You know, responsibility and all that.
I think I had fun during choir today, not because of the people, definitely, because I don't think I'm very close to them, but more because I really felt good singing today. We might not have sounded our best, but I'd say I enjoyed how we sounded anyway. Sometimes I feel as if I'm sick of singing, especially during CCA in the afternoon, because I'm just so tired. Digressing a little, I must say I have no idea why I'm tired so much of the time. I think it has a lot to do with my defeatist attitude. I know I should change, but. But.
You know what? I finally finished A9. I know I should feel a sense of achievement or whatever, but I don't. Instead I feel even more bogged down than before, because by finishing it, it just reminds me of just how much work I have to do. Yet do you know what I've been doing these past few nights? I spent the whole of Friday night watching TV for 8 hours straight. And 3 more today. Damn. I don't know. Maybe I've pushed myself past the breaking point (er, I think 'pushed' is wrong... more like 'I want to pretend I've pushed'). I've been indulging myself, maybe it's to rebel against all the tasks I have to complete. To just say to it, in the face: FUCK OFF. That kind of thing. I know I shouldn't. Yet I am.Why? Hmm. There's some food for thought.
I've just thought of one thing not good about staying up late: you get really really hungry. Ugh. Anyhoo, this ends my post. Bah. Shall wake up and do more work tomorrow. (Yeah right, like you're going to actually DO anything. Slacker.)
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