12 January, 2003
If you slap yourself too much, will you go deaf?
I WANT TO SCREAM. But I have no one to scream to. Too much anger. Too much stress.
I know it's my fault. I know it's my fault that I get angry. I know it's all my freaking fault. In fact, these things don't need my anger. I am just getting myself more and more worked up for no good reason because there isn't anything to be angry about.
Perhaps I am angry at myself. At my incompetence.
MAYBE I JUST PLAIN HATE PEOPLE. Because I don't understand them. I don't understand myself. I am angry at the world, angry at myself, angry at my very existence.
And I ask: why am I like this? What can I do to change? And I try to suppress this anger and I try not to cry but I can't because there is too much hate.
Too much hate.
I WANT TO SCREAM. But I have no one to scream to. Too much anger. Too much stress.
I know it's my fault. I know it's my fault that I get angry. I know it's all my freaking fault. In fact, these things don't need my anger. I am just getting myself more and more worked up for no good reason because there isn't anything to be angry about.
Perhaps I am angry at myself. At my incompetence.
MAYBE I JUST PLAIN HATE PEOPLE. Because I don't understand them. I don't understand myself. I am angry at the world, angry at myself, angry at my very existence.
And I ask: why am I like this? What can I do to change? And I try to suppress this anger and I try not to cry but I can't because there is too much hate.
Too much hate.
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